


Long Distance

by auroraphilealis (xrosepetalsx)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, High School, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, University, implied depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-16
Updated: 2015-05-16
Packaged: 2018-03-30 18:52:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3947851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xrosepetalsx/pseuds/auroraphilealis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil’s gotten into his top choice school, York University, and Dan’s the first person he calls to tell the news. Dan wishes he could be happy for him, but all he can think about is how they’re going to survive in a long distance relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Long Distance

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer** : In no way do I pretend that this is real or cast aspersions on Dan or Phil.
> 
> Written for [unlester](http://unlester.tumblr.com) for the [phanficexchange](http://phanficexchange.tumblr.com). I really loved this prompt originally because it kind of hit close to home for me, so I hope I did it justice!

Dan had known it was coming. It wasn’t like it was a complete surprise. Phil had been talking about it for _ages_ now. He’d been sending out applications for _months_.

Dan knew it was coming, and yet it still hit him like a ton of bricks when Phil called him with the news.

“Dan! I did it! I got in! I’m going to York University!” Phil shouted through the phone, his voice high pitched in its excitement.

But all Dan could feel was bone crushing heartbreak.

“That’s great! I’m so happy for you,” he responded, voice crackly with suppressed emotion.

There were tears in his voice.

“Dan, are you alright?” Phil asked, immediately concerned, and Dan cursed himself. Phil shouldn’t be worrying about him right now; he should be gushing with Dan about all the wonderful experiences he was about to have, and how excited he was to move out and be on his own for a little while. He should be inviting Dan to go out to eat with his family in celebration, and be too happy to notice Dan’s mood when he declined.

Instead, his voice was low and familiar as he asked after Dan. Phil was always asking after Dan, and that only made him feel worse.

“Yeah, of course I’m fine!” Dan finally responded, clearing his throat, and trying to project false cheer into his voice. “I’m just, really excited for you is all,” he assured Phil lamely.

The other male paused and considered that. Dan could practically see how his brow would be furrowed, and how he’d have one hand reaching for his car keys, while the other was pressed against his phone to hold it to his ear.

He could imagine Phil hesitating so perfectly, and he hated himself for it.

“Are you sure?” Phil asked, and Dan nodded his head vehemently, as if he could see.

“Of course! I know your parents are waiting for you downstairs, _go_ ,” Dan encouraged, hiding a sob on a short laugh. The tears were starting to come fast now. He was angry at himself, but mostly, he was just sad.

Sad because Phil would be leaving him soon, and he wasn’t okay with that.

“We’re just going out to dinner, you could come,” Phil offered, and he still sounded so concerned.

“No, its fine, you should be with your family. Go!” Dan insisted, and then, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Phil responded, voice finally going soft and warm, and Dan smiled at that.

“I’ll talk to you soon?” Phil asked, still hesitating, and Dan rolled his eyes, this time hiding a sniffle behind a laugh.

“Of course, now _go_ , you spoon!”

Phil went.

\--

Dan had meant to prepare himself better than this. He wasn’t meant to be falling apart right now. He was meant to be excited for his boyfriend, planning a surprise party or something – anything to make Phil feel as special as he was.

Instead, Dan had his face pressed into his pillow as he cried. His heart was beating fast, and his mind felt fuzzy with pain as he thought about how far away Phil was going to be, soon.

One more week, and he’d graduate. Two months max, and he’d be 2 hours away.

They’d officially be in a long distance relationship, and Dan wasn’t sure he could take that.

They’d spent their entire childhood no more than 15 minutes away from each other, and Dan didn’t know how to handle being so far away. He didn’t know what he was going to do when Phil wasn’t within walking distance anymore, when he wouldn’t have that shoulder to cry on moments away.

Dan only cried harder when he realized that, if he asked, Phil would stay.

It took a while, but eventually, Dan’s sobs ceased, and he was left sniffing into his pillow, still upset, but determined to be strong for Phil.

Then a knock came at his window, and Dan’s breathing halted as he sat up carefully.

There was only one person who knocked on his window, and that was Phil.

“Open up, it’s freezing out here!” Phil’s familiar voice called, and Dan sprung up immediately, rushing to the latch and flipping it.

Phil had climbed in within moments, shutting the window behind him before pulling Dan into his arms.

Dan couldn’t help when he started to cry again, his body trembling in Phil’s hold.

“Shhh, baby, shh. It’s going to be alright, I’m here now,” Phil consoled, holding Dan tighter and slowly moving them both back to Dan’s bed.

“Why are you here?” Dan managed to choke out once Phil had situated them, Dan straddling his waist like a child.

“Because you’re upset,” Phil responded, like it was obvious.

“But you’re supposed to be celebrating,” Dan complained, lifting his tear stained face to pout at Phil.

“How could I celebrate when I know you’re upset?” Phil asked, reaching up to brush Dan’s hair away from his face. He smiled softly at Dan, and then kissed him on the nose. Dan sniffled.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, burying his face into Phil’s neck and curling his fingers into soft fabric.

“For what?” Phil asked, like he really didn’t understand. Dan laughed.

“For ruining your night,” he responded, sniffling and pressing a soft kiss into the skin of Phil’s neck. Phil only shrugged.

“You didn’t ruin my night. I… knew this was going to happen,” he admitted, arms tightening around Dan’s waist. “But I couldn’t help myself. I was excited. You were the first person I called, after I opened the letter,” he said. Dan didn’t respond, just pressed in tighter to Phil as he cradled him to him.

“I don’t have to go,” Phil finally stated, after a few moments of silence.

Dan pulled away.

“What do you mean you don’t have to go!? Of _course_ you have to go!” Dan insisted, immediately reaching out to smack his boyfriend on the arm. He sniffled, and rubbed at his eyes then, so that he could glare fiercely at Phil.

“Don’t you dare let me hold you back; I’d never forgive myself,” he growled, smacking Phil a second time for good measure. Phil cringed.

“Ow!” he whined, pouting up at Dan. “I was just trying to make you feel better. You know you being happy is my top priority,” Phil explained.

Dan nodded, because he did know. He’d always known - since they were children, and Dan had fallen off the swing set. Phil had been by his side in moments, helping him up and dragging him over to the water fountain to clean his wound.

He hadn’t stopped telling terrible jokes until Dan had laughed.

Phil was always telling terrible jokes, and he was always by Dan’s side.

Even now, when he should be celebrating.

“I know,” Dan assured him, pressing his hands against his chest until he’d fallen back against the bed and Dan was hovering over him. “But it won’t make me happy for you to stay here.”

“I could go to Manchester University, and I could live at home,” Phil tried, eyes pleading, but Dan shut him up with a kiss.

He was done crying.

Their lips molded together the way they always did, and Phil’s hand automatically reached up to cup Dan’s cheek. Dan smiled against his mouth, and copied the action.

When he pulled away, it was only with misty eyes.

“I want you to go to York,” Dan assured him.

“Are you sure?” Phil asked, biting his lip uncertainly.

“Yes,” Dan replied, smiling brokenly as he leaned down to press his lips to Phil’s again.

Phil was quick to kiss him back, threading his fingers through the soft curls at the nape of Dan’s neck as Dan settled more comfortably on his hips. He kissed Phil as softly as he could, terrified of this turning into one of those goodbye things, and licked into Phil’s mouth for comfort.

“I love you, Phil,” Dan murmured as he pulled away. “And I want you to be happy,” he said.

“I love you too, Dan, and I want _you_ to be happy,” Phil retorted, dragging his hands down Dan’s sides softly.

Dan just smiled, rolling off of his boyfriend and settling on the bed next to him, eyes fixed on the ceiling. He could feel Phil shuffling around, and a hand worming its way under his body, so he lifted up slightly until Phil had managed to get his arm around Dan’s waist.

He still didn’t look at Phil.

“You really want me to go to York?” Phil asked, skeptical.

“I really want you to go to York,” Dan assured him.

“Really?”

“Really, really.”

When Phil pressed a kiss into Dan’s cheek, he could feel how wide he was smiling. All Dan could feel was crushing heartbreak, overwhelming again.

“It won’t be so bad, Dan. I’ll only be two hours away,” Phil started, rubbing calming circles into Dan’s hip as he spoke. “And I’ll come home every weekend. It’ll be okay.”

Dan didn’t answer. He could feel his eyes welling up with tears for the third time that night, and was struggling to hold them back.

“But what about when things get bad again?” he eventually asked brokenly.

Phil cooed at him, and dragged him into another hug. “You can still call me, Bear. I’ll always answer for you.”

Dan shook his head, even as the tears leaked over and soaked into the front of Phil’s t-shirt. What happened to not crying?

“It won’t be the same,” Dan said softly, sniffling, and trying to pull himself together. He didn’t bother to struggle against Phil’s hold, too content to stay in his arms forever.

“What happened to the days when all it took was hearing my voice?”

“Those didn’t last very long, Phil,” Dan responded. “And besides, who wants to go back there?”

Phil didn’t answer, and for that, Dan was grateful as he burrowed himself deeper into his best friend and boyfriend’s hold. He was happy for Phil, of course he was. But he was heartbroken for himself. It was difficult to be strong, no matter how badly he wanted to be.

Phil had always been his strength.

Phil started humming, then; a soft melody that Dan couldn’t place, but which helped his body relax. Strong fingers rubbed at his back, and he could feel Phil’s breath puffing against his neck. It felt amazing, to be held like this, and Dan knew he was going to miss it.

Weekends weren’t going to be enough, and what happened when Phil had exams? He wasn’t always going to be able to make the trip.

Sighing, Dan burrowed ever closer.

It wasn’t until he was nearly asleep that an even more horrifying thought occurred to him.

“What if you find someone new?” he blurted out before he could stop himself.

Phil immediately stopped humming, hands moving to Dan’s shoulders so he could pull him away.

Dan had his eyes jammed shut in fear. 

“I wont,” Phil said, and his voice was so confident and assured that Dan almost didn’t argue. Almost.

Eyes still jammed shut, he said “But what if you _do_?” 

“Daniel James Howell,” Phil said. “I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this, but you are the love of my life. My soulmate. There is no one better matched for me out there, for that I’m certain. I’m not going to find someone new because I’m not going to be looking.”

Phil’s hand was on his cheek now, so Dan opened his eyes, biting his lip as he tried to hold back yet another cry of pain.

“I love you,” he choked out.

“I love you too, Dan. So much,” Phil responded, and then he was leaning in for another kiss, taking Dan’s bottom lip between his teeth and nibbling softly. His hands were pressed against Dan’s hips, and he was rolling them over now, so that Phil would be hovering over Dan, his knee’s settled on either side of his hips.

Their mouths pulled apart and then slid back together, and all Dan could think about was how much he loved Phil as he tried not to cry again.

How much he trusted Phil.

They pulled apart.

“Besides,” Phil continued, as if their conversation had never been interrupted. “In a year, you’ll be joining me anyway.”

Dan couldn’t help his choked laugh at that.

Things still didn’t feel like they would be okay, but… Dan trusted Phil.

And it was only going to be a year. They could do this.

Besides, if their relationship could survive a year of long distance, their relationship could handle anything.


End file.
